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When I Grow Up

For the last… Let’s say… 14 years I’ve wondered what I want to do with the rest of my life. I’ve learned along the way of things I don’t want to do. I know the old adage of finding something you love and you’ll never work a day in your life but thing I love require a degree in something I don’t have and then like 10 years experience. I’ve also reached a point where getting my foot in the door won’t pay the bills. So I’m left wondering what to do. 

There are some things that I might be good at but how the fuck would I know? Plus from what I can find there is no job for a guy who loves going to theme park and has suggestions on how to make them better or if they do it requires a business or communications degree and 10 years specific experience. I just don’t get it. 

If I was able to start over multiple times I would but now I’m at the point in my life where risks come with a lot of cost involved. I just wonder how you even move forward. I read all the time of people saying just do it and go for it but no one has the same circumstances plus how will I know I’ll enjoy it if I just go for it?

I found out the hard way that even though I’m good at something does not mean I will enjoy it at all. I enjoy things to enjoy them. I don’t have to know every specific minute detail to enjoy it. I know I’ve touched on that before. 

I just have no skills and I’m not really a people person so where does that leave me? I pick things up pretty quickly and I can be extremely observant and if I have to be a people person I can; I just prefer and choose not to be. 

I have an idea of a couple things I can. I’m 1/3 of the way through one but the other 2/3 might be the hardest and I haven’t looked at that idea in like 2 months. I know I need out. I know I need something different and something more me. 

I just wish I knew where to start. I have a lot of medical problems that weigh on my mind and that keeps me from making a leap too. Oh well I guess I will have to keep wishing and trying to figure out what I can, but for now…

– Later Days

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